Lighting for Profits - Episode 169

This week, Join us as we explore Ryan’s transformation into his 2.0 version, reshaping his coaching business and lifestyle. Discover how this journey has impacted his business operations, family balance, and marriage. Ryan and Lindsey share valuable insights and inspiration for anyone looking to elevate their life and career. Don’t miss this powerful story of growth and balance

Listen to Episode Here

Watch the episode

Episode Transcript

All Light discusses everything you need to know to start and grow a successful landscape lighting business

Welcome to Lighting for Profits. All Light. All Light. All Light powered by Emery Allen. Get rid of your excuses. Your number one source for all things landscape lighting. That's where the magic can happen. You can really scale a business.

We really had to show up for.

Each other from lighting design, install sales and marketing.

You're a scaredy cat sales maker.

We discuss everything you need to know to start and grow a successful landscape lighting business. What do you think a hippo has to do with your business, Ryan? Usually it's some weird childhood thing, some bully kicked your butt.

I think the key factor here is trust.

Here is your host, Ryan Lee. All Light. All Light. All Light. Let's go.

The host of Lighting for Profits welcomes Lindsay Lee to the show

I'm Ryan Lee, the host of Lighting for Profits powered by Emory Allen. So excited to see you. So excited to hang out with you for a little bit. And, today we got an amazing lineup. We got by popular demand. She's back. My wife, Lindsay Lee. Lindsay Lee in the house, in the landscape lighting secret studios. I mean, look at this place. I wish you guys could see the behind the scenes right now. Trying to set up, like, I'm not really set up for a second guest in studio, but we did it. So I'm excited to have Lindsay on in just a couple minutes. we are trending. We're the number one landscape lighting show in Lehigh, Utah. So, our neighbors are a little bit jealous, but, no one's done anything about it. So if you're looking to start or grow a landscape lighting business, you're definitely in the right place. We're here to educate, to motivate, to help you dominate. So I want to thank you guys for your support. Really, really appreciate it. we've got more reviews, we got more people listening, we got people reaching out, thanking us for, doing the show. So super grateful and still, not going to get mad at you if you give us that five star review on Apple or Spotify. So just go search for lighting for profits, hit the five stars and write something nice if you've gotten some value out of the show. So, again in just a couple minutes and we're actually, I'm not going to do the monologue, the Ryan rant or whatever you want to call it. We're going to jump right into the show here in a couple of minutes.

We're launching Lighting Academy and Light It Up Expo

We've got Lindsey Lee on the show today, so we're going to talk about, really kind of the behind the scenes of an entrepreneur, right? And, what it takes to be married to a workaholic. So this should be a good one. by the way, we're still doing free strategy sessions. So if you're, if you're feeling stuck in your business, you want a little bit of insight, maybe figure out what trajectory you're on, what, what decisions you should make. Go to landscape lightingsecrets. com schedule your free strategy session. Just go to landscape lightingsecrets. com click on start now and follow the process from there. You can book a call. And I'm really, really excited guys, because we have decided, well, we decided a long time ago, but we finally put in the work and we're launching two things right now. Light It Up Expo. Okay. And you can learn more about this lightitup expo. com that is February 28th, March 1st, Orlando, Florida. So bring your family and come hang out at Universal Studios after or Disney or whatever you want to do. But Light It Up Expo, the first of its kind. We are doing landscape lighting, holiday lighting, permanent lighting, event lighting, all under one roof. So there's going to be, of course, networking opportunities. There's going to be a trade show area where you can, connect with vendors and learn about new products. We're going to have hands on learning. So if you want to bolt on one of these to your existing business, come and learn from the pros. so many good things there. Get information@lightitup expo. com and then this has been, we've been working on this for like a few years. We're finally launching Lighting Academy. If you want to get into landscape lighting and you're not quite ready to go full speed with landscape lighting secrets, but you want to get your feet wet, dip your toe in, go to lightingacademy. net and get all the information you need. In fact, we're doing a trial right now. You can try it for just a dollar one. We're basically giving, away for free. So. Lightingacademy. net go check it out. If you're looking for a resource to just train your team, maybe you already know everything about design and installation, but you need a resource to train and onboard your team. Go check it out. Lightingacademy. net and of course I want to thank Emory Allen, for their wonderful support. Did the country music, did the music from Texas, we got Lindsay on the show. So, what sets Emerald apart? Well, bulbs aside, they believe customer satisfaction should be the top priority. Always. Emery Allen goes out of their way to ensure lighting professionals have access to the best light sources built with the highest quality components suited specifically for the landscape lighting industry. At the end of the day, it's what's on the inside that counts. So take advantage of Emory Allen's world class customer service. Get 10% off your order. And all you gotta do, guys, is email tom gary allen. com and mention that you, heard about them here on Lighting for profits. Email Tom gmaryallen. com and get that discounted contractor pricing. Telling you, don't waste your time going to the website. Why pay more? Just mention that you heard about them here on Lighting for profits. Email tom gallen. com and, man, they got some sexy lamps. They got that single source led. You'll notice a difference at night. So check it out.

Back by popular demand, Mrs. Lindsay Lee is coming on the show

All right, guys, well, as promised, back by popular demand, we got the one, the only, Mrs. Lee coming on the show. So, let's find the, intro music. Are you ready over there in the studio? She's so excited. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the show. Lindsay Lee.

Thank you.

How are you?

I'm good.

I know. Well, I think I know. All right, welcome to the show again.

Thanks.

I know you're really excited. You've just been begging to come back on.

Yes, I love being in the spotlight.

well, that's what we're going to talk about is, what's it like being forced to do podcasts with your husband.

Lindsay Lee identifies as a farmer, uh, rancher

So, all right, as we get started, you've been on the show before, but, maybe just do a quick introduction of who you are and then we'll get started.

Okay, Lindsay lee here. 42 years old. I have four kids, two dogs, seven chickens and a husband.

And you identify as a farmer, rancher. Just not there yet.

Yeah, one day, okay, One day I'll get my ranch. We'll see. But, yeah, I stay home and take care of family and try to keep everything in order and also keep myself sane at the same time.

Nice. So just thinking back to when we got married. How long have we been married?

22 years.

I was testing you.

Oh, sure.

So we've been married 22 years. is it anything like you thought it would be? No, dang it.

Very untraditional. Very different than what I'm seeing.

You thought, by now I'd be like an executive at a company.

Vp.

Vp. Not president.

VP of a bank.

Good to know. Low, Low bar.

No, hey, it's all about titles.

Earning. Earning like $20,000 bonuses every year.

Yeah.

Cell phone.

Cell phone. Car insurance.

Insurance. Woo.

Lindsay and Sam were young and ignorant when they started their business

So, well, let's talk about it because, you know, there, there was that that there was that version of you. And then, I was like, hey, we're going to move to Texas and we'll just try this thing out for a couple years. We made a two year commitment. We're going to go to Texas, try the business. If it works, great. If not, we'll just come back and I'll be a VP of a bank one day.

Yeah.

What was going through your mind then?

I don't know. I. I think I was. I was too ignorant to like, really realize what I was doing.

So. And I. I've always had faith in you. I've always known that you're gonna succeed, so I wasn't worried. But I also enjoy doing new things. I like keeping life exciting. so I was excited to try something new. I never moved out of Utah, so I was excited. I. We just had our first baby, so I was trying to navigate being a new mom and a new living home. You know, we moved away from all of our family, so it was. I think at the time I didn't know any better, so I was fine with it. It was exciting.

Yeah. Well, I think that's an advantage we had actually, was that we were young and ignorant.

Yeah.

Like, I had no idea either.

Yeah.

And it wasn't. I was. I wasn't pretending like I was someone I'm not. I was just like, I think I can do it, but if I can't, we'll just move back.

Yeah.

But I think being young and I mean, we still did have Livy. We still had like a first kid, so there was risk and stuff like that. but I think. I don't know, I. I think there can be a lot learned. There is, that you don't have to have all the answers to take a step forward.

Well, I think too, I think one of our best qualities as a couple is like, we can make a decision and we will make that decision and know that we're going to commit to that decision. And if it does not work, we're going to be fine. We're going to pivot and we're going to figure out another route. And I feel like we've done that so much in our life. It doesn't scare me anymore because I'm just like, all right, well, here we go. We're gonna try this. If it does not work, it's okay because we'll figure something else out.

Nice.

And I think that's a good quality that we do have because a lot of people don't make decisions and then they don't ever progress, you know?

Yeah. I mean, that's. I don't know why we share that. I don't know if I learned that from you or you from me or we were just born with it, but, it's like I've. I've never felt like failure is an option. Like, maybe of the thing, but it's like, yeah, well, then. Then you know, it doesn't work. Or you don't know how to do it, or you're not good enough for it, so you just try something else. Like, there's just always a way out.

Yeah.

By the way, this is amazing. I think you were supposed to marry Sam Mudd, Junior.

Who's that?

Exactly. He says I'm a VP of a bank and my bonus is about 20k a year. LOL.

Is he. Does he have a ranch?

He probably does. Sam, you're the man.

Dude, I. Sam Mudd Jr. That's amazing name too. I could have been Lindsay Mudd Jr. Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Dude.

Where are you? Sam?

you're welcome to our house anytime. Lindsay will probably bring those bonuses when you come. That's phenomenal.

Oh, that's hilarious.

You remember buying your first house? Yeah. That was huge for us

All right, so what was. What we're, you know, back then, that was like our. That was huge for us. You know, we. We had already bought our first house. You remember buying our first house?

Yeah. I was stoked. It was like, I couldn't believe we could afford it. And it wasn't that it was brand new. It was a brand new house.

Well, no, our first house was here in Utah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that one.

I couldn't believe we could afford that one. I know. That was like $160,000 house. And we were like, oh my gosh, dude. How are we going to afford a down payment?

Yeah.

And we had to put 5% down. and then we had to pay the bills. I mean, that was scary.

Yeah.

But we had, like, started what was going to be our dream life. And then only like two years later into that, we picked up and moved to Texas.

And at first it was awesome because we bought a brand new house. Like 200 or something. That was so crazy. I was like, we are kings and queens.

No, it did feel good. It was like, oh, yes, we've arrived.

What were some of your fears about moving to Texas after having baby

But what was some of your fears? Like, what were you. What were some of your fears there in Texas? Yeah, just moving out there, starting something new, I think.

Just moving away from family, you know? Like, I had finally. I was finally at home because I Didn't work after I had Livy, and then I could be, like, spend time with my mom and see my sister, and, like, I was able to do that. And then once, I was able to do that, we moved. So it was like the beginning of something. And then it ended so fast.

I wasn't thinking. You were. I thought you were going to say, I was fearful that we weren't going to be able to afford health insurance.

Well, I always was like that. I was always like, I don't know why insurance made such a big deal to me, but it's. Everything costs so much, and I just wanted to be able to take care of our babies, you know, so. And every doctor Visit was, like, 100 bucks. And I was like, oh, my gosh, how are we gonna do this?

Well, you know, I think that there's. There's fears that people have. I. You know, I had fears of, like, what. What if I can't provide? You know, what if. What if I have to admit defeat in front of friends and family who were already kind of wondering, like, wait, what are they doing? Yeah. Should you guys be. Are you really qualified to do this?

No one is.

no, we're not. That's. That's a beautiful thing about America, though, is, like, you can become qualified.

Yeah. You can do whatever you want. If you really want to do it, put the work into it.

I just feel like there's a lot of people that have fears to do things. I mean, I talk to business owners every week, and it's a fear of investing in hiring a new team member, investing in advertising. It could be a fear in joining landscape lighting secrets, you know, like, a lot of different things. But a lot of things they fear never really happened. They're just so worried, like, well, what if, what if, what if? And it's like, there's this huge element of risk. What they don't realize is there's risk to not. Like, what's the risk of not taking action? And in most cases, it's riskier than taking the action.

Yeah, there's definitely more reward than risk that you can get out of it, even if it's. Even if it is failing and down and you have to figure out how to get back up. All those experiences are learning make you stronger. So then you're not afraid. You're not afraid to try something new. And if you fail, you fail. But you know how to get back and be there for each other, and you can do anything.

Ryan is a slow learner. Well, we both are. Things go slower than you think

So let's talk about, you know, we moved there the first couple years. I remember just being like, this is the greatest thing. I can't believe this. I can work till 2am because I would go out and do demos and then I'd come home and work on the website. It was just.

And you loved it. You loved it. You were happy at first.

Yes, at first. I don't know if it was two years.

It was something new and you were creating.

I think it was at least a year, but maybe two years. I seriously did. And then after that, it was like, oh, my gosh, dude, this is how.

It always is with us, okay? It's called a learning curve. Because every time Ryan starts something new, I'm like, okay, babe, you go do it. Don't worry about us at home. I've got it. Go do every, like, spend every minute that you have to the business, and I've got it. And then after like three or four weeks, I'm burned out. You're burnt out. And I'm like, this is not okay. We have got to refigure what we're doing. And I swear, every time we do something, it's the same. We always go through that learning curve. Even like just last year, you were working, you were gone all the time. And I was like, yes, go do. You got to do it. This is going to be great for the family. And, by the end of three months, I was like, this is not good. This is not good for us, not good for the family. This is terrible. We had to refigure things out.

So what you're saying is I'm a slow learner.

Well, we both are. Well, I'm saying things. Things go slower than you think.

Yeah.

Because I'm always like, oh, yeah, take a year, six months. Get the business going to where it needs to be. We'll sacrifice that time, but it always takes longer. And it's just, you can't. You burn out way too easy.

Yeah, I think, I think it's because, you know, I, I feel like I relate to a lot of business owners because I'm, like them. Like, we just know how to like, outwork the next person or out hustle or whatever. You know, it's like we didn't have like, formal training on how to be a badass entrepreneur, so you're just like, put your head down and grind. But as, we've proven, like, that's not a, it's not a good long term strategy. It might be fine for like a few days, a few weeks, but like, it's it's just not sustainable. And there is a smarter way. And we did that at the end of this last year. I was like. I mean, I canceled my own event.

Yeah.

Landscape Lighting Live. I canceled. We had. We canceled other speaking engagements and other events we were going to go to and set up booths, and it was like, no. And what's cool is, it's just, again, I'm a slow learner. Like, business is actually better because of it.

Yeah. Well, it's like a, sense of relief. I'm like, oh, I'm so glad he's not going to that. I'm so glad. But it's. I. I mean, you guys, as entrepreneurs, you guys pride yourself in being workhorses. And, you know, you work. What did you call yourself? over. Workaholic.

Workaholic.

Workaholic. I think it's good, but it's also awful at the same time because you sacrifice other things. You know, you have to balance it. Like, you can't just work, work, work. Yeah. You're providing your family financially, but you're also sacrificing a lot of other things, you know, And I think we've had to learn that along the way, too.

Well, I, You know, I definitely think. I mean, that's why I call it a holic workaholic. It's an addiction.

Yeah.

Like, there's no doubt about it. I feel it, I know it, and I have to, like, fight against it. There's times where it's like, oh, man, I just want to check my phone right now. I want to solve a problem. I want to serve the world. Like, it's a. It's a real problem.

I don't know how you do it, because I am not that way. Like, I, like, I get stuff done and I work hard, but, like, I don't put that pressure on me. Like, I have to go save the world. I have to go. Like, I. I don't know how you live like that, because for me, it's overwhelming. I can do what I can do. I can do it well.

Sometimes you get so sucked into business that you forget about your family

But beyond that, it's like, I also like to just chill at the house and hang out at night or just not think of anything. I mean, I'll go sew for hours.

And neglect family back in your sewing room, woman.

I turn into a grandma. But I like it. Like, I would that stuff. I need that in my life. I can't work all the time. I mean, we have different work, right? You go work. And we've talked about this. Like, you get recognition, you get Paid you. People are sending you texts every day. Like, Ryan's amazing. He's awesome. Thank you so much for everything. Like, my work is, like, I don't get any of that. And sometimes it's hard to keep going, so I have to, like, I have to give myself my own rewards. Sometimes it's going to the gas station, getting to drink. Sometimes it's up in the sewing room for two days.

This is the first time I've seen you in three days, let's be honest.

Well, I got a new project in the works.

The thing is, man, this is a real thing. This is like. I mean, we teach business, and pricing and sales and marketing and all the stuff that people need and want inside. Landscape, lighting, secrets. But a real challenge is this, like, husband, wife, father, mother relationship. It's like, how do you grow a business and grow a family and not sacrifice one for the other? And that's what a workaholic does, is you get so sucked into business that you forget about your family. And I've gone through phases where I'm like, you don't even know it's happening to. Then all of a sudden, sudden becoming self aware. Yeah, Mom's. You guys have the toughest job because you. You are serving the four kids, the two dogs, the seven chickens, and the husband. You know, like, and so you lose your identity. Like, you just get lost. And you don't even know what's happening either. No one knows this is happening until you're, like, in it. And then you wake up and you're like, who am I?

You're, like, in survival mode for years that you don't even think about it. You're just, like, surviving. And then one day you're like, oh, okay, I'm miserable. How do I fix this?

So let's talk about it.

What can someone do to prevent from getting to that place?

Like, can we share anything that would help others not get there? Like. And again, we're not like, one. I just want to say we. We don't have. We're not the perfect couple. We don't know. We. We still struggle all the time.

I mean, you have to work constantly on it, and it's exhausting sometimes.

But I think we've. But we've. We've figured some stuff out. It's not like, you know, I mean, through counseling, through talking, whatever. Like, we figured some stuff out and we're more self aware. Like, we just didn't know what we didn't know. We didn't know that that was even a possibility, that it could. These things could happen. And you could lose your identity. So one I want to ask you, like, what could someone do to prevent from getting to that place? And then I'll have another follow up.

Okay. So I think for me, I, I got to a point where I was, I was miserable and it wasn't anyone's fault. It's just life. So I had to. I went to a therapist and I got help because I literally had no idea how to home myself. I was, I didn't know. I've never been in that situation ever. M. In my life.

What they say, what did they tell you to do? So.

Well, you have to take care of yourself. Like I take on everyone's, everyone's problems, everyone's emotions. I try to manage everyone's everything and it's too much. So, you have to realize you can't do that for everyone. I can't manage you. I can't manage your emotions, I can't manage your choices. Like, I just had to let go of that. And then I just had to like, take care of myself for a minute and find out what makes me happy again. Find out what I can do. I don't know. I guess basically learn coping skills and also be okay with where I'm at, you know, and to find something I love again.

Yeah. Well, I guess my follow up question was gonna be what can you do to prevent from getting there? But then if you are there, how can you get out of it? How can you get your identity back? The answer might be the same. Then it's like you found like hobbies, you found things that, that you were passionate about. And it was like, like, the airplane thing, I always use this. But it's like put the oxygen mask on yourself and then help others. Moms are helping everyone else and they forget to put the mask on themselves.

So it's like we're slowly dying.

It's okay to be selfish and like live.

No, it's true. And I think for a while I thought that being selfish was a bad thing. Like, you know, so I always didn't. I was never selfish. I literally was. I was dying inside as a person. And and I remember like growing up, I was like a really fun person. I was funny, I loved life. Like people really liked me. And I was like, where did that person go? So I was like, I gotta get that person back. So I did my own work and learned some tools and I just make time for myself. So like sometimes I am up in the sewing room for two days, three days, and it's what I need.

It's awesome, though. Like, again, I'm, I'm telling you, like, this is. This happens to everybody. Like, we have, Robino landscapes on here. He says, how do you spend time together? How often my wife and I share the same experience. You guys have been through to my wife since the pandemic hasn't worked. As a husband and father of two, it's on me.

Yeah.

So, like, everyone goes through this.

I know it's. It's hard. It really is hard. And it's almost like you have to go through it yourself to figure it out and which, It's like painful. A little bit. You know, But I think when we went to counseling, they gave us some tips and like, we take time every week to go out to dinner to talk and try not to talk about work and kids the whole time.

Good luck.

But, you know, just like, doing fun things. When we moved here, we started going to Vegas a lot, which was super fun. And just like being, with us and it's just fun because you feel like human again. You feel like a couple again, and you can enjoy each other.

And we, I mean, we go out once a week, you know, like on the weekend.

Sometimes. Yeah.

Sometimes what?

Yeah, we try to do it regularly.

I mean, sometimes it's more.

Yeah.

Since becoming an entrepreneur, Ryan has gained some OCD's problems

Sometimes we might miss or something like that, but, even. And we're not like going to like, fine dining or anything.

No.

Sometimes we've even had like, drive through sitting in the truck.

Yeah.

For lunch or something.

Lunch. Yeah.

Just because I don't like to go into gross.

Ryan also, since he's been an entrepreneur, has also gained some OCD's problems.

I got my landscape body secrets, hand sanitizer right here.

Hard thing to manage as a wife. It's like I told him, I'm like, listen. Because he got to, This was years ago. But he got so. He was so, just trying to manage everything that I feel like it made him more like OCD or like a perfectionist. And he wanted everyone around him to be perfect. And I had to sit him down and be like, listen, I'm never going to be perfect, so quit doing that to me. Like, I'm not perfect, I never will be, but I'm good enough. And so that. I feel like a lot of entrepreneurs are like that because they get so caught up in their own world and they, like, want. They're trying to do everything perfect, you know, to make it successful. That. Do you think that is true or no?

Yeah, well, I don't know if it's perfect. I, think that's not necessarily the right word. But we are. We are like perfectionist. We're striving for excellence.

Yeah.

I don't expect perfection, but I do expect striving for excellence. And when you. It's hard to like you one, you can screw this up at work too. Trying to develop a culture of excellence. Because if people are feeling like, wait, you want me to be perfect all the time? That's not going to fly.

Yeah.

And then it especially doesn't fly when you come home because those people aren't getting a paycheck.

Yeah. The wife of the kids gotten a lot better. But for a while there it was I was just like, oh, man.

Ryan Lee talks about some things that are different now than when he started

Well, I kind of want to talk about. So we launched landscape Lighting Secrets 2.0. And in. I didn't even mean to do this or say this, but when we were launching it, I kind of announced and I felt this, like, internally, like, man, I'm gonna Launch Ryan Lee 2.0. Like, I'm. I'm gonna be. And it's not that, like, today's the day. And like, whatever. It's not like a formal launch. I'm really on version 44.0. Like, I feel like I've improved all along. Talk about some things that are different now. Because, I mean, I look back and even. Even before I had that, like, perfectionist gene or whatever.

Yeah.

I used to get even when the kids were super young. Like, I didn't want messes, I didn't want noise. You know, all the. All the stuff the kids do.

Four little kids.

But at some point I learned to cope myself. You know what I mean? And there's things now that I'm like. I laugh, I'm like, that's so funny that. That doesn't bother me now because that would have drove me to move states before.

Well, I know. And even like two nights ago, Millie was talking to me and she's like, remember when dad used to get mad all the time? He doesn't get mad anymore.

That's awesome. Dang it. I have these. That means they have burned in core memories of BE me being an a hole.

No, it's just a learning thing. I mean, you're used to. You would go to work all day and it just be you. You'd be quiet. It would. You had your own life. Almost like it was you. You would go eat by yourself, you would drive by yourself. It was quiet. You come home and it's like, all hell would break loose, and you didn't know how to cope with it. And I'm. I was just, like, drowning. So it was once again a learning curve in life.

What advice would you give to someone who is married to a workaholic

So what. What advice would you give to someone who is married to someone like me who's married to a workaholic? They're trying to provide. They. They think. I mean, when you're a workaholic, you think you're doing the right thing. So what would you give advice to the spouse? Like, how should they.

Number one, I would say don't take anything personally, because I feel like I would take a lot of things personally in a way. I don't know how to explain this, but just don't take things so personally.

So seriously, I guess, like, something that, Are you referring. If you don't get a compliment or you don't get. It's like, lack of something doesn't mean.

Yeah.

This is like, a whole nother conversation because we were talking about this earlier. Like, men are so different than women.

I know. And Ryan knows my love language is words of. Words of affirmation.

Affirmation.

Okay. Does he give me words of affirmation? Hardly ever. So I give my own words of affirmation. I tell myself I'm awesome all the time. I tell the kids I'm awesome all the time. So I, think you have to. I would, I would. If you are struggling, like, go get help because. Just to get a foundation of coping skills and stuff. I mean, I think that's good just in life in general, but, I think communication always is number one with your spouse. Even if it, like, is going to cause some contention, you have to, like, always keep communicating with each other.

Yeah. that's the thing. It's going to cause contention regardless.

Yeah.

Whether you talk about it or not.

Someone'S going to get offensive because you're. You're like, what do you mean? I work all the time for you and I've given you all these things. Not that you've ever said that, but. Yeah, I'm sure in your head you're like, I work so hard, and then I can.

I've given you all these things.

You complain because I don't tell you you're awesome. You know?

Is this, like a replay? Is this a fight of ours that happened?

No, we don't really. We don't really fight like we used to. Oh.

the good old days. But yeah, so I think that's part of my 2.0. Even though I'm announcing it now, it's been happening for 44 years. I'm definitely a work in progress and I am a slow learner. I, I'm trying to be more self aware than ever before I did that. Understand me. And I learned a lot about myself and, and why I think the way I think and, and say the things I say and, and then I'm like, wait, people, people don't think like this. Like that's weird to other people.

Yeah.

You know, and that's huge. If you, if you understand and you get a higher, what do they call it? Not iq. If you're more self aware about yourself, you start to understand that like, okay, even though we are compatible, you know, it doesn't mean we're the same.

No, we're very different, which is good.

But it's this, it's why that, like, it's why there becomes contention because I'm like, yeah, I'm not. Words of affirmation. Don't tell me I'm doing a good job.

Yeah.

Are you trying to offend me?

I give him a compliment and he doesn't even know how to take it. He's like, thanks.

That's awkward. Weirdo.

I know.

Stop giving me compliments. So, and so then it's hard, obviously.

And you're always intense. Like, it's always like, we gotta excel and be our best all the time. And I'm just like, what we're doing now is good enough. Like, some days it's 100%, some days it's 40 and God will make up the rest, you know, Like, I count on that because I can't go 110% all the time. I'm okay with giving 40, but you aren't most of the time. And I think, I think that's because you have something to prove to yourself. I don't know, is that, is that, is that bad? Is this a.

no. I, I think just having the awareness of it. And again, I don't have all the solutions. I'm still working through this stuff and trying to be a better human and trying to just accept other people's reality and stuff. Because it's hard when you're like, I don't know anything other than a thousand percent.

Yeah.

And so even now when you're like 40, like 40, I know it seems so low.

Well, it's very hard when your husband works at home because some days I just want to lay on the bed and watch TV and do nothing, but he's right there. And so I'm like, judging here, doing laundry.

I always feel like somebody's m watching.

Ryan says it's important to go out and do something for yourself

Just like, oh, but, yeah, dude, you know this.

No judgment for me. I'm like, dude, I. I do this so that you can live the good life.

I know.

I love it. I'm like, heck, yeah, dude. Pass out on the couch, girl.

That's.

Well, I saw that once.

I know. But then I feel guilty, you know? But then I'm like, why I feel guilty. I've just. I've. I do my part.

Here's the thing, though. This. This would solve so many problems because right now we have. I know. At least 10, like, on my mind right now names that. I'm not going to say that there is contention between the spouse and the entrepreneur that doesn't have to exist. Right. And, a lot of it would be solved if the spouse would, be okay and not feel guilty for having their own identity and having their own life. It doesn't mean that you don't love your spouse or whatever, but I love it. Like, you go out and you do. You go work out with friends. You go. Literally, you'll go and sew for I don't even know how many days. But, like, that's what you need. And I'm happy to. I, love that because it, like, gives. It gives you happiness. And then it's just, like, it allows me to be okay with. With doing my thing without feeling guilt, too.

Yeah.

So, like, it's important that even though you're married, like, you don't have to do everything together.

No.

And it's okay if someone is gone having fun. Like, that's actually a solid thing. And if you're feeling like, well, they get to have all the fun, then go have fun.

Yeah.

Like, go do. Go do your thing. Like, it's okay to do that. And I don't. I don't think, enough. Spouse or wives, in most cases.

Yeah.

Feel they. They feel like you just said you're like, oh, I feel guilty. It's like, no, you shouldn't feel guilty.

Well, I do remember my therapist told me because, like, when you're a mom, you take care of the kids. So when you leave, it's not like you just get up and leave like men. They just get up and leave. It's fine because they know the kids are taken care of. Women, it's like, we have to take care of who's going to watch the kids. How's. How are you going to work? So, like, there's a different dimension there. But I Do remember him telling me, every time Ryan goes and does something fun, you go do something for yourself as well. And so, like, I really had to make that a priority because I never did. I was like, I'm not going to go do that. It's too much work. I have to think about it, whatever. But I did start doing that, and it made a huge difference because I was going out and doing something for myself. I wasn't just sitting at home like, oh, look, he's at, he's out on the boat again. Or he's, you know, doing whatever. Whatever you're doing. Like, I wasn't. And that, like, when that erased all, like, resentment. And I think when you have resentment in a relationship, it's. It's awful. It's like, it'll kill anything.

Yeah.

So, But I think that's important, even though it takes effort. And I know all these moms that work and, you know, mom. It's hard to even have the energy to do that. But you. It's almost like you have to. And so.

Good point.

That's one thing I made myself do. And I was. And it wasn't like I was keeping tabs of, oh, ryan won me 1m. I wasn't doing that, but I just made sure, like, I went out and did something fun for myself.

Yeah, that's a good point, because you're right. We can just be like, yeah, I'm going on a business trip, packed in five minutes.

Yeah, see you later.

And. Yeah, and I get it. So you would encourage then. Yeah. Like, if. If you're a mom and you're like.

A lot of women feel bad when their husbands are successful

Because you used to do that all the time, I'd be like, hey, why don't you go with your friends? Hey, they're going to do this. Like, oh, Because then I'd have to do this and I'd have to get the kids here, and it's just like, yeah, it's just not worth it. And it is more work, and it sucks. And, you know, husbands, we can do a better job saying, I will cook dinner. I will take them to dinner.

Yeah.

You know, like, there's. They're kids. They're. They're. They're fine. They don't need as much as moms give them because they. Moms tend to pour into them more than maybe is what needed every single day. So I think make the effort and get some personal time in.

Yeah. And I feel like. Don't be, I feel like a lot of women with men that are successful, they. And have a Successful career. Like, they can feel like they're not as valuable because we're not bringing in a paycheck. We don't. You know, which is just so not true. Like, I had. Whatever we're doing at home is so much more important than what they're doing in the office. no, just kidding. It's. It's both needed, right? So I think a lot of women, they feel bad because they're, They see their husbands being so successful, but they have to remember, like, they're successful in their own right, in their own thing, that they're doing whatever they're doing. If they're helping in their business with their partner or they're at home with their kids. Like, you can't compare each other in that way either. You know? I don't know if that makes sense, but whatever you're doing, as the Paul.

Gardner says, it's true.

Yes. Paul Garner.

And he's got, like, 16 million kids.

Oh, is he the guy that.

He's the guy.

Is he the homeschool guy that lives in the trailer? No. Just kidding.

No, but he's also the guy. Not that guy.

No, it's true. but I think it's important for women to know how good we are. Like, we're. We're just as important as a CEO.

Of a company or a VP of a bank.

Our, VP of a bank. Like, that's why I'm like. I think I. At a time, I was just like, I'm like, what am I doing with my life? I have nothing to, you know, I don't have any thing. So I don't want to say show, because I have a beautiful family. But, like, personally. And then I was like, no, I'm awesome. Like, the work that we do is just as good as, like I said, the VP of a bank or an entrepreneur that's a workaholic.

I, Sam Mudd M. Jr. Is still a badass in my book. But, here's the thing. Like, what you just said is 100% true. I. You know, we know this. It's not like I need to come on here and confess, but I do suck at, showing that the worth that you provide to the family. Right? So now here's me, I got to do a better job of it. And I'll make some awards or something, I don't know. But I'm going to do a better job with the words of affirmation and stuff. But the reality is this. In every wife should know this. If things are not good at home, it is impossible to succeed. And so, like, to talk about the worth. I mean, like, in work, if I go sell a landscape lighting job and make $10,000, it's, like, cool. You, like, feel it, you see it, whatever. You don't really see that worth, except for, I promise you, there's a direct correlation. If you don't have a good home, if you don't have good structure, if you don't have a good relationship with your spouse, that person does not have the freedom or in the mental space to go out and excel.

Yeah.

Like, it's. It's impossible because I've been there. I've been on both ends where I'm like, dude, my wife's a rock star. She's got it all together. I'm gonna go conquer the world.

Yeah.

To, like, crap. Like, I don't even know if this is gonna work. And I, can't sell anything and I can't produce, and now I'm yelling at my employees. And, like, it is, like, the foundation.

Yeah.

And if there's cracks in that foundation, you're not going to build a very tall building. So there is a ton of worth in it.

Yeah. What? There's a saying that's, like, behind every great man is a amazing woman.

Ryan: Both me and my wife cover each of our weaknesses well

Did you just make that up?

Yeah.

No, there is a saying.

I just feel like because you're so successful or whoever is your partner plays a huge part in that.

Hey, by the way, Paul has been living in an RV the last few weeks. Oh, yeah, we are hitting this.

I remember. Is it in Florida?

And we homeschool.

Are you in Florida, Paul?

Well, I thought he was in Virginia, but now I don't even know, man. But we're hitting all of them. We're getting VP at banks, we're hitting homeschooling. RVs. We got.

We need a rancher. Can someone. Can I come be someone's, What do they call it? Second wife, Internship, internist. Ship at a ranch so I can learn how to do my own when it's time.

Dude, I swear, if Sam, my, junior, has a ranch, he's your dream guy. Robino landscapes. I agree. Both me as a husband and my wife cover each of. Oh, I can't read. Cover each of our weaknesses. Wife job is often a thankless job and try hard to recognize for it. And it really helps. I mean, that's the thing, guys. It's like knowledge. We know what we need to do. It's just. Do we execute? Like, I know that I need to Do a better job.

Well, I mean, I do, too. Like, I need to. There's things that I can do better, too.

Let's talk about those.

What are they? Ryan, Tell me.

Yeah, he's been in Florida. Apparently you've been stalking Paul Gardner.

Well, no, I. I don't know why. I think it was during the summit I heard about his life.

Oh, yeah. Thanks, Paul, for being here.

Yeah.

Full, time. Lives full time in Virginia, so. There you go.

How important are vacations and time to just unplug with family

All right, so we. We got about five minutes. Oh, that went fast. I. It always does. So we got five. Five minutes. Cuz we planned this. Right in the middle of picking up kids from school. Millie's going to dance. We. We got some stuff happening.

Yeah.

I kind of want to just mention, you know, it's crazy. We've done. We've done some things that are wrong, but then we've done some really good things.

Yeah.

And, I had so many people tell me, like, how cool it was that we documented our trip on social media, going to Portugal and Rome. And I want to talk about that, because I don't think it has to be Portugal and Rome. We did a trip to Universal Studios. We've done some trips now that our kids are older, that these are, like, core memories that we talk about. Maybe not weekly, but almost.

yeah, weekly.

It's probably weekly. Like, the kids are. They're constantly bringing this stuff up. How important are these vacations and time to just unplug and get away from work and get away from the regular life?

I mean, I think it's really important. I mean, it's. It's. What life is about is like, being with your family. Right. Like, above anything else is your family is like, the most important thing. So when you can have a successful vacation, I mean, we've had a lot of vacations that have been unsuccessful, but, like, when it's, like, successful and everyone just has so much fun and it's just like there's so much love and, I don't know, you just love being together. Like, to me, that is amazing. And I think that's what these trips have created for our family. It's like, it's only us and it's. We can center each other, you know, like, we just spend time with each other. We're laughing together as a family. We do fun things together. We push each other. So, yeah, I think those are things that our kids will never forget. And I don't think I will either.

Well, you mentioned the bad trips, too. I know why they were bad trips.

Why.

Why they didn't work? Because I wasn't present. I was a workaholic. I'm not kidding. Because I'm like, geez, my phone's in my pocket. I kind of need. I'm just going to check it.

Well, and you had very short patience, and your patience has grown quite a bit. So that's very nice. And that's not a, dis. It's a good thing.

Yeah. Well, the thing is, it's. It's intention. So it's again, becoming self aware of, like, who you are, how you operate, not feeling guilty for it. It's like it's. It is what it is. You were brought into the world, you were raised by people you like. That's who you are. But then it's understanding, okay, who am I? Who do I want to be? What's the gap look like? What do I got to do to get there? it's no different than growing a business. Where am I at? Where do I want to be? What's the gap look like? What do I got to do to get there? So I've just been more self aware than ever. And I feel like these, these vacations that we've been on, I've been. I know that I'm like, hey, I'm. I'm not. I tell my team, I'm like, I'm not answering questions. I'm not doing this. Don't schedule me appointments, whatever. If there's, if there's something where we're on, like a low key, whatever, I don't mind. I'm like, ah, it's better to just keep the appointment then move it. But like, when we tapped out for two weeks in Portugal, it was like, no, I'm present. And it's so much more enjoyable. Guys, I'm telling you, if you can just realize, like, you gotta let the work go, it's gonna. Trust me, those problems are gonna be there when you get home. Like, you don't have to try to solve them while you're gone. Be present. Be intentional with your time, with your family, with whoever you're at in the moment. If you're out with friends on a weekend or whatever. Like, if you can be present, it's going to change the dynamic of the whole group. And I honestly think that was the difference because, yeah, you know, I'm sure the kids, annoy me. If in the times where they're being annoying the same now than they did 10 years ago, whatever.

But I've learned to Deal with it. Like, I'm not thinking about what else I could be doing

But I've learned to Deal with it. And I'm. I'm like, I don't even care anymore. Like, I'm just here. I'm in the moment. Like, I'm not thinking about what else I could be doing.

I could go get another job.

I could be doing a nighttime walk through right now.

Another demo. That would be awesome.

Well, All right. Well, that was awesome. I think this is cool. I had some, I guess, as we kind of wrap it up.

Anything else you want to share? Like struggling to struggling wives out there

Anything else you want to share? Like struggling to struggling wives out there. I don't know, Crappy husbands?

No, I just think with marriage, know that there's not a perfect one out there. It's always a work in progress. It doesn't even matter. Like, I don't know. You always have to reevaluate where you're at. And it's hard sometimes, it's painful sometimes, but it's worth it. And you just have to, like, keep talking with each other and, don't, be afraid, you know, with life, with your marriage, with work. So. I don't know.

Love it.

I don't know if that's good or not.

I don't know either. Well, we'll let the fans vote. Yeah, I think it's great.

Thumbs up or thumbs down?

No, I think it's awesome. Great advice. Thanks for coming on here. I know it's not your favorite thing, and I'm only going to make you do it about once a year.

I do want to have our friends on this podcast from our Living Scriptures days.

Yeah, we. We gotta just, Darcy, if you're listening, reach out to.

Me because those were amazing, hilarious, hard memories.

Yeah, those are some core memories there. So we're gonna have an episode, guys, where we have. We. We for. We did summer cells and we sold animated Bible videos of all things. Like, what the. I mean, who does that?

Only $29.99. Yeah.

A month. It was DVD. And this was in like 2003 or five or something like that. I don't even know.

In the heat of Mesquite, Nevada.

This is going to be a great episode because it's going to be amazing. So all the friends, I've talked to them, they're in. We just got to set it up.

Okay.

So I just got to get Darcy to reach out and figure out a day in time.

So that'll be good.

That's going to be really fun.

Stay tuned. That one. You won't want to miss that one.

You'll do willingly. You're excited for it because it's going to be hilarious.

You got to talk to your spouse about struggling in business

Yeah.

This one, you know, it got a little deep, but I wanted to. I wanted to talk about it because, honestly, I know a lot of people right now that are struggling and in business, and a lot of it stems from. They are. They're. I don't want to say they're terrible husbands or fathers, but they're. They're not. They're not doing what they should at home.

Yeah.

And. And some of them might think they are. Right. And it's just, man, this is a tough conversation. You got to, like, go talk to your spouse and be like, hey, we gotta talk. Let's figure this out.

Yeah.

And know that you can. You can work through it. And, like, I, like what you said. There's no perfect marriage out there. We have friends that have said, oh, man, this guy's great. But this. And it's like, well, you could. I'm great, but Lindsay will tell you all my flaws. So, there's. It's. You got to make it work. You gotta. You gotta do what you can. Because if you're not happy at home, your business will not flourish. It's just not possible.

Yeah.

All right, everyone, have an awesome week. Thank you, Lindsay.

You're welcome. Peace out.

Okay. Back to momhood. let's go.

Oh, yeah.